Thursday, July 27, 2006

It's Friday and You Need to Look at a Comic

See, because 'were' means 'man'!

11:27 PM , # ,


Coffee Guy Live!

You love the world famous Coffee Guy and you love buying coffee from him at the Duff, but I bet you sometimes ask yourself, "Fine. But where can I see the Coffee Guy perform live and on stage?"

Wonder no more! Matt the Coffee guy will be appearing at this year's Summerworks in the play, charters (aka the humanitarian). Look, here's a pic to prove it! The play is at the Factory Theatre August 5, 7, 8, 10-12.

4:14 PM , # ,


Tuesday, July 25, 2006

SUV Driver

via SpacingWire

7:22 AM , # ,


Monday, July 24, 2006


Click survey. DO IT! QUICK! Then see amazing results.

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Saturday, July 22, 2006

It's the Machines, Stupid

There were a couple of articles about Dell's woes in the weekend papers again and as usual, the blame falls soley on Dell's shoddy customer service, again missing the real culprit, crappy hardware that's been overloaded with bloatware. And yeah, the customer service is a problem but it wouldn't be as much of an issue if the hardware was solid.

As for my XPS, it's working -- for now -- but it remains the noisest damn machine I've ever met and I live in constant fear of another failure. At the same time, my much older Dell runs as well as it ever did after years of regular use. If Dell still made machines like that thing, they wouldn't be suffering today.

9:13 AM , # ,


Thursday, July 20, 2006

This Year at TIFF, Be Sure to Fuck the Man

Tonight was the cast & crew screening for Reginald Harkema's new film, Monkey Warfare. It stars Don McKellar, Tracy Wright & Nadia Litz (who you may remember from Rhinoceros Eyes) and will be premiering at TIFF in the fall:

Dan and Linda are two ex-guerilla activists from Vancouver, now living underground and off the grid in Toronto. To survive they scavenge through garbage and cruise garage sales for buried treasures they can sell "cash-only" on the internet ... [their] lives are turned upside down when an enigmatic, young radical named Susan ... enters the scene just as their dope-dealer is busted.

It's a laid-back, gritty, funny flick, sort of a pothead activist retelling of Anne of Green Gables. And it's filmed in my 'hood, so it was a treat seeing all the places where Zack pees up on the big screen. Every other scene, I would nod my head with satisfaction and murmur, "Oh yes, Zack's peed there alright."

I'm contributing some promo graphics to the production and they've stuck one of my thumbs up as a placeholder on the movie's page. More later ...

In Other News

RoninKengo has discovered VOX, which is being hyped as myspace for your grandma. It's not live yet (he snagged an advance invite), but when it is, VOX users will also be able to use iStock thumbs to illustrate their posts. The thumbs link back to the image's download and purchase page, which will hopefully make me WEALTHY BEYOND MY WILDEST DREAMS. Or help me pay the phone bill.

Check out RK's 10 Fav Movie Scenes Found on YouTube. Poor Louis del Grande. Good meme, I'll bite .... here are my 10 favourite tv intros found on YouTube:

1. The Rockford Files. Holy bleeding pee, the coolest opening title sequence ever. Moonlighting kida rips it off later on.

2. Space:1999, year 1 opening. So cool, the current Battlestar Galatica series pays homage to it. And all done long before the days of computer graphics. Also, lots of things blow up.


4. The Prisoner, clocking in at a staggering 2 minutes and 15 seconds.

5. Mary Tyler Moore ... I always liked the part when she throws the guy up in the air at the end.

6. Red Dwarf IV. Things blow up, Mr. Flibbles, things blow up.

7. The Fall Guy. Deserves a mention for the clever song and things blowing up. Runner up in this category: TJ Laser.

8. Pee Wee's Playhouse.

9. Oh, I guess it's a toss up between Mighty Orbots and Thundercats. Both have sequences that go really fast. Kids like things that go fast and blow up.

10. How 'bout the Muppet Show? Does that wrap it all up ok?

Whew. That was bloody hard work.

8:16 PM , # ,



Zefrank's Walmart Audition.

11:25 AM , # ,


Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Just When You Thought It Would Never Get Finished ...

Because this started in February, here's a quick recap before the final episode.

In EPISODE 1 good-natured doormat, Peter MacKay, met Belinda Stroach the Giraffe ...

STRONACH: Peter MacKay, why the hell are you wandering in the fucking wilderness?

... and romance blossomed. Then, in EPISODE 2 Belinda revealed that she had plans for both her and Pete ...

STRONACH: We want you to meet with Stephen Harper.

MACKAY: HARPER? I ain't gonna meet with no gosh-dang Stephen Harper!

... suddenly there was tension. In EPISODE 3 they met with Stephen Harper the Elephant ...

HARPER: No, man. The world isn't getting warmer, it's staying the same while the universe grows colder.

... and I thought I already posted EPISODE 4 ... imagine my disappointment when I saw it still sitting in the 'drafts' folder. No matter, COMING UP: The last 2 episodes of World's Scariest Animal Relationships 2, Artic Extreme!

Previously: World's Scariest Animal Relationships: Brad & Jenn

9:05 PM , # ,


Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Back in Iraq ...

This must be the reason US Republicans have been blustering on about World War III this week:

Nearly 6,000 Iraqi civilians died in May and June, UN says

10:07 PM , # ,


Scary Campfire Story: Hardboiled


Little Jimmy woke. He was surrounded by the thick fog. Jimmy stood and stumbled against the chesterfield. He heard a noise. A hissing.

Frightened, Little Jimmy, began to poke through the fog. He stretched out his hand and watched it vanish in the thick haze. There was a knock. Jimmy froze. The hair on his arms turned cold like little icicles of fear.

Little Jimmy continued forward. There, in the murk, he saw two throbbing orbs. Little Jimmy knew what had happened. He had started to boil eggs, but forgot about them. The water had boiled away over an hour ago; the eggs were now cracked and ruined.

Little Jimmy turned off the heat. The crack on one of the eggs quivered. The egg hissed, "Little Jimmy ... Little Jimmy ... how could you forget us?"

Little Jimmy cried out and stepped away. The egg hissed again, "We loved you, Little Jimmy ... we ... loved .. you ..."

Little Jimmy wiped away his tears and stepped forward towards the pot. The egg was oozing and shaking, "Little Jimmy, please give me one ... last ... kiss." Little Jimmy leaned forward and puckered his lips but the egg opened its mouth wide and bit down on Little Jimmy's face. Little Jimmy shrieked. The egg chomped down and fell away.

Little Jimmy's face had been completely bitten off. Blood sprayed like a geyser from the hole that was left. He stumbled backwards and collapsed. His body twitched on the floor as his life ebbed away. The egg began to cry. Blood stained its evil lips.

Outside his apartment, Little Jimmy's landlady pounded on the door with her fist, calling out, "Is everything ok?" She heard the egg's sob turn into a wail of anguish.

11:11 AM , # ,


Monday, July 17, 2006

Mortgage Man

Alan bought a house.

6:56 PM , # ,


Sunday, July 16, 2006

Catch of the Month

1500 music video from the 1980s [ via Kinsella ]. Fun, WOW!

Update: The link and a bunch of other mirrors appear to be dead. Fun while it lasted ...

Tuesday update: It's back!

9:02 AM , # ,


Friday, July 14, 2006

I've Been to Krypton But I've Never Been to Me

I saw Superman Returns yesterday [ spoilers follow ] and the flick was a complete dud, much worse than the reviews suggest. While watching it, I was overwhelmed by feelings of 'not caring' and by the last half hour, I was tapping my feet from boredom and wishing they'd just wrap the damn thing up. It's that dull. I was actually hoping Richard Pryor would show up; they made Superman 3 twice and mucked it up both times. If they do a sequel, let's hope they skip ahead to Superman 5 (which would also be Superman 6) instead of trying to fix 4 (which would make 5 7).

The film's biggest fault is Lex Luthor's scheme. If you think about it for more than five seconds, it's preposterous ... and call me an idealist, but I believe screenwriters get paid to think about their stories for more than five seconds. Worse, it's not even original; it's a real estate swindle, just like in the first movie except that one was clever (nuke California, create a new coastline and turn worthless desert into real estate) and this one is idiotic (destroy the world by replacing old continents with a new one ... wtf???).

The human drama ain't much better. It's loosely Priscilla, Queen of the Desert with amnesia. Superman is a dad. How does this affect him? Who knows, who cares? The actor playing Superman isn't capable of much beyond a barely passable imitation of Christopher Reeve as Clark Kent. In the pantheon of franchise actor failures, Brandon Routh occupies the space between George Lasenby and Paul McGann. If there's a sequel, they might consider calling Tom Welling's agent.

The rest of the cast does a fair job, but only the actors playing the Whites, uncle & nephew, approach anything one might consider 'acting'. The kid isn't too bad, but seems like he'd be more at home in The Sixth Sense than Superman. As for all of the geek references thrown in (such as a shot pulled from the cover of the first Superman comic) ... well, they're not much fun when the movie's not fun.

Go see Brick instead.

9:09 AM , # ,


Thursday, July 13, 2006

Now Choose

If you choose cereal, you go back to your life as you know it. If you choose sandwich, you find out how deep the rabbit hole really goes. If you don't choose, your fence-sitting ways will eventually be your undoing.

11:18 AM , # ,


Wednesday, July 12, 2006


Rocketboom relaunched today with a new host. She's pleasant. The episode was pleasant. In the final tally, the Rocketboom Split Drama scored points for resembling the plot of a Cory Doctorow novel but lost points for not milking the drama for a few episodes. Milk has calcium, calcium makes bones strong.

If you want to watch a video blog that's actually sharp & funny & fast, check out zefrank's the show. Good luck.

12:24 PM , # ,


Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Writing on a Rafter

Merv was at the pool in our hometown and sent me these pics from the rafters. I was a lifeguard there for four summers ... I was working there 20 years ago this month! A quick google of the above names turned up nothin'. Wow, imagine not existing on the internet. That's like not existing in the mind of god.

10:57 PM , # ,


The Candidates

I can't even remember the last time I posted a new Ms. Johnson strip. But there are two new ones on the site now, both about Toronto city councillors who have expressed an interest in running for mayor this fall.

9:56 AM , # ,



Janet & Bob were married on the weekend ... and no wedding is complete until the groom has been publicly humiliated. In the photo, Bob's deepest, darkest secret had just been revealed!

7:11 AM , # ,


Sunday, July 09, 2006


Today was the second day of Hazel Meyer's performance piece, Deerheads, part of WADE 2006. The herd wandered right into the middle of World Cup celebrations on College:

[ above ] The herd wanders from the first watering hole. [ below ] Toronto city councillor, Joe Pantalone says 'hi' to Amber. He's the city's tree advocate, so he obviously cares about the deer.

There are more pics on my flickr page.

8:01 PM , # ,


Post Pilfers Post

The National Post reprinted -- without permission -- an edited Spacing Wire post by a writer who also happens to be a regular contributor to that other national newspaper, the Globe & Mail:

Shawn had originally quoted text from John Barber, a Globe and Mail columnist and a National Post competitor. The quotes from Barber played an integral role in shaping Shawn’s Spacing Wire post. But the National Post removed Barber’s words which dramatically warped Shawn’s point-of-view. To add a bit of intrigue to the situation, Shawn is a frequent contributor to the Globe and Mail and has consciously decided not to have anything to do with the National Post.

The Spacing post on the subject includes the Post's apology. More at AZ's ...

7:11 PM , # ,


Friday, July 07, 2006

Behind the Scenes

More Blog Extras at A Day in the Life. Be sure to watch the blog storyboard video ... it reveals the exacting detail that goes into creating a blog post.

8:59 AM , # ,


The Tao of Steve

Whatever Bush says, it remains to be seen if Harper really is a 'Steve'.

8:03 AM , # ,


Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow

Imagine getting fired from your blog. That's what happened to Amanda at Rocketboom when she and her partner broke up [ announced here ]. So here's an important tip: get a blog prenup! Or follow the example of Fleetwood Mac and do lots of coke, keep working together and put out your Rumours. Or something.

Hmmmm ... emotional turmoil might have made Rocketboom somewhat bearable again ...

8:58 AM , # ,


Monday, July 03, 2006

Canadian History Moment

On this Canada Day weekend, in light of the CBC pulling a docu-drama about Tommy Douglas because of historical inaccuracies, we present this factually-correct story:

The True Tommy Douglas Story, 1962
As relayed by Woodrow Llyod

Even though I'd taken over from Douglas as premiere of Saskatchewan, on that cold winter night I knew I needed Tommy. I needed his his magic. It was a bad one, the worst yet.

LLOYD: They came back! They thought that because you were gone, it was safe.

DOUGLAS: It's good that you brought me.

LLOYD: We should call the mounties, too.

DOUGLAS: NO. I will face them. You stay here.

Douglas set out and walked towards the glowing hanger. Mad laughter and other sounds echoed from the place. He got closer. And closer.

Figures darted around Douglas in the night. He fought them. He struggled forward, towards the hangar. And vanished inside. Howls and screams rang out. I wanted to run, I wanted to rush to help Tommy. But I just stood in my place, frozen with fear.

I waited for hours. I didn't know what to do. I must have nodded off at one point because when I awoke, Tommy was standing over me.

LLOYD: Tommy?


He was exhausted. His face weary. He looked as though he bore the burden of a thousand centuries.

TOMMY: That's the thing I hate about Saskatchewan ....

LLOYD: What, Tommy?

TOMMY: All the damn vampires.

Other moments in Canadian history:

Mutant Bear Attack in Upper Canada, 1852

Emily Carr vs. The Group of 7 Mutoid Dwarfs

The Biomechanical Insectoid Dionne Quintuplets

Trudeau's Long Walk in the Snow, 1984

Hit Song in Winnipeg 1991

10:00 AM , # ,


Saturday, July 01, 2006

My Other Blog is a Lexus

London, Ontario

Merv & I were driving back from visiting Lou's ...

MERV: Your blog has jumped the shark!

BLAMB: My blog has jumped the shark!

MERV: It must be a relief. There's less pressure to post.

BLAMB: I never felt pressure.

MERV: But you have fewer readers to nag you.

BLAMB: I never had readers.

MERV: You should do what I do and post pictures.

BLAMB: I could ... it just seems that this crisis of the blog is leading somewhere. It's a sign, I just gotta figure out what it all means.

MERV: A lot of people are quitting their blogs right now. You could always quit.

BLAMB: I'd just start again.

MERV: Well, get rid of the black background.

BLAMB: I'll redesign once I've figured things out.

MERV: Do you even like your blog anymore?

BLAMB: I love my blog! I'm just not in love with my blog ...

MERV: That's sad.

BLAMB: There was a time when I used to care.

MERV: You can never go home ...

But then, there in the middle of that empty suburban street, it hit me like a ten tonne pile of lightning bolts.

BLAMB: [ lightbulb blinks on ] But of course!

MERV: Huh?

BLAMB: It's so clear, it's so easy. You can go home! You can go home!

MERV: I just said you couldn't.

BLAMB: But you can.

MERV: No you can't.

BLAMB: The time has come to go back!

MERV: Back?


2:25 PM , # ,





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