Facebook is - to borrow a word from my teenage years - sad. It is no substitute for personal encounters, for phonecalls and letters, for the genuine effort that is required to maintain a friendship. Of course, I doubt many people will take my route.
Hey, that guy is cool, eh? He has personal encounters. Can you imagine such a thing? And he was on Facebook before anyone else and now he's the first to give it the heave-ho. How cool is that? It's so cool, nobody else can follow! ... Or can they?
The past taught us that anything on the internet that inflates as fast as Facebook deflates just as quickly as people tire of the novelty or move on to the next thing. Like Orkut. A few weeks after joining that social networking site I had 500 "friends" from Brazil. Then I never visited Orkut again.
On Facebook behaviour seems much the same; join, accumulate dozens of semi-friends, spy on a few exes for a bit, play some Scrabulous, get bored, then get on with your life, occasionally dropping in to respond to a message or see some photos that have been posted.
Really, how much social networking do you really want to do? The real question is: what do you do next? I'm sticking with my plan to only participate in every other internet phenomenon. I skipped MySpace and went right to Facebook. I'll mull around on Facebook during The Next Big Thing and hop on board when The Next, Next Big Thing happens.
And we all know what that's going to be: Porn Scrabble.
New Real Films' All Hat opens today at the Carlton! Reviews aren'tsogenerous (and the Globe pans Noam Jenkins' villain; I thought he was the best thing in the movie) but it sure is one fine-lookin' flick and worth checkin' out fer that.
We're having a party here on Sat night ... email me for the details.
And now, a look back at the past year:
What a crazy year. They started stocking crunchy -- CRUNCHY! -- almond butter at the No Frills. Who woulda' thunk it? Also, my toenail fell off. Dead Robot won the toenail in the Official Toenail Contest but declined the prize. Maybe I will try to sell it on eBay. What else? Oh yeah ... Britney, Britney, Britney. What can't that girl not do?
And now, a look ahead to the coming year:
Do you realize how bad this recession is going to be? Remember the early 90s? Nobody's even going to remember who Britney Spears was in a year or two. Do you think people will start dressing like lumberjacks again?
Ok, here's my big recession culture prediction: goatees won't come back into style.
You think I'm crazy? Ok, let's sort it out. Back in the early 90s when the grunge scene hit, every guy on the planet grew a goatee. A few lucky fellas already had goatees and were able to say, "I had my goatee BEFORE it was cool." The rest, the guys who jumped on the bandwagon, had to listen to that for half a decade. And it drove them insane.
Some of those guys continued wearing goatees long after they fell out of fashion. You see them everywhere. Even after the guys who had the original claim to the goatee had shed theirs, these other guys hung on. The bandwagoneers did this partly because of a misplaced affection for a really crappy decade, but mainly because they wanted to be the ones saying, "I had my goatee BEFORE it was cool." the next time goatees came back into fashion.
But fashion is as cruel as it is shallow and no doubt senses the intentions of these guys and has planned to skip goatees this go-round to spite their lust to be part of the vanguard. Goatees will come back into style ... in 2021! None of the guys hoarding their hair will be young enough to be able to say, "I had my goatee BEFORE it was cool." They'll be too old for it to matter.
So what will be the neo-grunge hairstyle for the coming time of economic misery?
The neighbours lost their first kitten within a week of getting it. They named their second cat, Lizzie, only to find out that "she" was a boy. Lizzie is a snarly, mean beast and when the neighbours complained about his personality I told them to get him fixed and that would sort it out. A year later and, as you can see from these photos taken out the front window this morning, Lizzie is clearly not fixed:
When you're freelancing, you're not just enduring the stress of one job (whether that be designer, developer, or writer), but you're also dealing with the stress of every other job. This includes clients, finances, schedules, budgets, subcontractors, and many other issues, all while knowing that your paycheck is dependent on handling all of this.
As a freelancer since, er ... forever ... I'm glad that I can refer people to this post whenever the questions come up.
The truth is, my clothes are too tight and I can't afford to drop several thou on everything from new coats to new bras. Anyway, large size clothes for women look and feel like crap -- still -- and are overpriced.
Well, I'm on board. My clothes have also tightened up over the past year because of a collision of circumstances (travel, our gym was under renovation). I hate wearing larger clothes because they look schlumpy, so it's time to deal with the situation. Battle ... on!
Latest annoying web trend are these "anticipated films" hypelists. These appear to be compiled by fanboys without a critical bone in their thick heads. Here's an example:
I'll be honest - I loved the original X-Files movie from 1998, despite not being a fan of the show. And now they're coming back with what could be an even better and more thrilling story.
It could be better and more thrilling ... of course, it could also be complete crap. But how can you tell? Here to assist you are some second thoughts on this year of "anticipated" films:
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Geriatric Profanity Disease Prediction: It's gonna suck. Giving Indiana Jones a sidekick in Temple of Doom weakened the Indy character. Giving him a father in Last Crusade made Indy look like a dork. Giving him a son in this new movie -- with Shia LeBoeuf in the role -- should send Indy to his grave without a shred of his remaining diginity.
Star Trek XI Prediction: It's gonna suck. Odd-numbered Trek films suck. Although this trend was broken by Nemesis, which sucked in at #10. Still, it would have been smart to release a quick, low-budget #11 and then blow the wad on lucky #12. To guarantee a crappy #11, they could have made a DS9 movie called "Worf's Holiday" or something like that.
Some Kind of Dark Knight Prediction: It's going to suck. The only reason the last Batman movie seemed so good was because the ones before it had been so bad. This movie will probably steer things back towards the path of decline. In two more movies, expect Bea Arthur as Mr. Freeze.
Zack & Miri Make a Prono ... AND LOVE! Prediction: It's going to suck. Hands up if you're sick of movies about people doing "bad" things and then learning good lessons and getting all soft & cuddly. Hands up if you want to see a movie about people who make a porno and don't fall in love and just spend the money on Doritos.
Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Crap-ian Prediction: It's going to suck. You know, The Lord of the Rings trilogy wasn't that good. I mean, it was good ... just not good enough to justify the unleashing of the schlock-fantasy tsunami we've endured since then.
Sex in the City: The Movie Prediction: It's going to suck. Stars Shia LeBeouf as Miranda's son.
WALL-E Prediction: It's going to suck. Pixar has been fielding more and more misses, their formula is familiar and tiresome and they're due for a big bomb. This movie is about a robot who, after a lifetime of repetitive work, finds out that he was created for a greater purpose. Which isn't much different than a movie about a robot who makes a porn movie with a friend, only to discover that he loves her.
Get Smart Prediction: It's going to suck. AKA Smart Begins. In this re-work-imagination-ing of the Get Smart tv series, Maxwell Smart is an analyst who gets promoted out of necessity. The premise ruins the movie by assuming that a bumbling secret agent requires an explanation. Expect every joke in the movie to require an explanation (i.e. Agent 99 is Valerie Plame, get it?)
X Files 2 Prediction: It's going to suck. Stars Shia LeBoeuf as Scully's son.